Greetings, fellow earthlings. Unless you're the Doctor. Or a country. Chocolate milk is my division.
i was talking to a guy and he said “if there were no laws you could be raped at any point of the day” and i replied with “yeah and i could retaliate by stabbing the rapist, hey i mean there are no laws” and he said “rape isn’t that bad, stabbing someone is a little over dramatic” wtf.
PAINT YOUR NAILS WITH HIS BLOOD.
my favorite tidbit about rome is that in the mid-1800s one of the popes didnt like the statues in rome having dicks so he ordered them knocked off. fast forward to the last decade or so and art historians in conjunction with the vatican are trying to erm. restore. the statues. but the dicks were just. kept in a box. so art historians are going around rome, with a box of dicks, trying to match them up to their owner.
FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK
YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD
MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE
"Never did like that much," is a baller and superb way to express your irritation with the way the patriarchy refuses to acknowledge how badass you are.
Before World War I, she shot a cigarette out of the mouth of the Kaiser of Germany at his request.
After the war started she sent him a letter asking for another chance, as she was afraid her aim might’ve been a little off.
Annie Fucking Oakley everyone
What a badass.